Tagged

Jen from I Never Thought tagged me to write about things that I've learned from Chase, and also things that I wish for him.

I'm having a really hard time putting all of this down in words. I've started this post about a hundred times. I'm trying to figure out why I'm having such a horrible time writing this, and I think it's because I feel like I'm in process. I haven't mastered any of the lessons that he's teaching yet. I feel like I'm getting a C on the Mommy Report Card. Just getting by. And I know that it's still early. Chase has lots of time to help me get it right.

So I'm going to write about the things I'm learning:

To lose control. Sometimes things don't go the way you planned. What are you going to do?
To live life one day at a time. You can't enjoy today if you are scared of tomorrow.
To appreciate everything that I have. I never knew how much I wanted to be awakened in the middle of the night by a screaming infant until I had to leave Chase at the hospital by himself. And my problems seemed so trivial the night when we had to wait outside the NICN because the twins in the isolettes near Chase didn't make it...
To believe in myself and in others. People surprise me every day. And I surprise myself. Sometimes I do things that I didn't think I could.

My wishes for Chase:
Happiness.
Safety.
Health.
Appreciation.
Love.

As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that what I wish for Chase isn't anything different that what I wish for Ian. And all those lessons? They are lessons that I learn from Ian, too. But Ian would teach them to me at a slower pace than Chase. Ironic, isn't it?

I have to tag people, but feel free to decline. This was a lot of thinking. Kacey and Cate- you're it if you are up to it.