Friday, October 8, 2010

Amsterdam International

If you have ever read Welcome to Holland, and then experienced life with a child with special needs, then you should read this.

I remember reading Welcome to Holland, and it comforted me, to be sure, in that moment, and several others along the way...but there were huge gaping parts missing.  Emotional parts that we, as parents, relatives, and friends go through while dealing with the diagnosis and raising our children go through and sometimes are afraid to admit.  But everybody does it.  Everyone has those thoughts.  The ones that you don't say out loud.  The ones that gnaw at the back of your brain.  The ones that make you think you can't do it, that you are not cut out for it, that God made a mistake in choosing you for this child's parent.

We ALL think them.  And it is OK.  Because I don't know about you, but sometimes I have a need to curl up in my own little pit of despair for a bit, to feel sorry for myself, guilty, scared, worried, and anxious.  And then once I sort through all of that, I can stand up, dust myself off, and keep on.

Because that's what we do.  We keep on, even when it is hard.  Even when we don't particularly want to.  Even if we aren't sure that we can.

Because when you put one foot in front of the other, it turns out that it really isn't that difficult, right?  Not that hard to take it in small chunks, to look to tomorrow instead of what-will-happen-when-I-am-gone?

Anyway.  I just like how Dana (the author) writes about the parts that no one really wants to talk about it...but the funny thing is, when we DO put it out in the open, it isn't all that scary anymore.

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