Monday, September 22, 2008

For all the Moms out there...

Do you ever feel like you get lost...? You spend so much time being efficient and taking care of everyone else, and you try not to be a big pain in the ass...try not to be needy or moody or high maintainance or whatever...And you feel like you've lost yourself?

What does it mean to be a woman and a mother? How do you do it?

How do you find the right balance of taking care of everyone else and having someone take care of you? How do you attain that feeling of independence and maturity and self-sufficient-ness when you still need that feeling of someone taking care of you?

Maybe I'm just a lunatic. I'm reading Captivating; Unveiling the Mysteries of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge, and I find that I totally agree with everything that they write about...but I didn't know it before...or I just couldn't pinpoint my needs before. Does that make sense?

I think as women, we have an innate need to be pursued, wanted, desired, fought for, romanced, and cared for...but at the same time, we long to play a part in a story bigger than us, to be needed, to be strong, to be independent and dependable. But how do you do that? How do you do that and not turn into a whiny, complicated mess?

I just don't know. Ideas, anyone?


Cate said...

Oh my god, this is so on-the-mark for me right now.

No clue, but when you figure it out, please let me know ASAP. Thanks.

Cynthia said...

I am totally there.
I think it is why I started blogging. I felt a bit lost, and wanted a voice of my own, even if it was just talking about my kids. I've felt isolated trying to meet the needs of my family and not my own. Trying to rebalance that now. I'm just starting with looking out for my health more and finding a few interests and activities outside my home. Of course, I would choose being involved in my son's school and being an officer in the local support groups that are supporting my son's issues. It is still an interest of mine. Not sure if it is directly taking care of my needs, but I get to meet others who have similar issues in their families.
I'll have to find the book you mentioned. Thanks!

Laurie's Mom said...

I needed to go back to work. At work, I got a break from childcare. At home, I got a break from work. If work sucked, I went home and I felt better. If the kids were driving me nuts, I could commiserate with my co-workers.

The hard part is balancing everything......! But it was worth it to have both lives. And my kids turned out just fine!

Tom said...

Hope you don't mind me jumping in here since I'm not a mom... :)

I met John once in CO when I lived there and Stasi and I worked on a small video project together. (over 10 years ago) Great couple!

John co-wrote a book with a friend of mine, Brent Curtis, (who passed away) called The Sacred Romance, which I also highly recommend. I've read most of John's books and find much of his take on life and God pretty spot on.

My two cents... sorry for barging in. :) And if you figure out how to be independent and strong without being a whiny mess, (guys have the same problem) write a book and I'll be first in line to have you autograph it.

Grace said...

Wow,I wish I had the answers.I am a complete mess these days.the only answer I have is prayer and lots of it.
There is a scene from Evan Almighty that speaks to me every time I see it. Evan's wife is talking to God(Morgan Freeman)
God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

Just keep your eyes and your heart open for those moments that seem crazy but that are your answered prayers