So I finally got him to wake up enough to tell me that his 'owies' hurt (from the sidewalk spill he took yesterday) and also that he was 'itchy'- um, on his parts. I mean, it's hot here since we are too cheap to turn on the AC just yet, so maybe it is a heat thing. I went to get the Desitin.
**GRAPHIC CONTENT ALERT (Ian is going to be so embarrassed someday when he is 14 and reading this)**
I come back into the room, Ian is laying down, still crying, still itching. So I pull his little undies down and begin to apply said cream.
And that is when he started to pee. All over me. A neverending stream. Think Austin Powers. After I finally ducked, it went all over his carpet, onto every item of linen on the bed. And all I could do was cup my hands over it like a deflector shield, which, of course, turned it from a stream across the room into a geyser that puddled around him, which made him cry even louder and harder. I have no idea what he drank before bed that evening, but it certainly was a lot.
Then, I realize that we have not yet put a waterproof mattress pad on the new bed that he is on, so when he *finally* finishes, I made him get off the bed so I could rip the sheets off and mop up the mess before it could sink into all the layers of the mattress. I felt so bad- there he is, still crying, wet, and totally freaked out, and I am Martha Stewart, sponging up the mess.
Eventually, I get him into the shower and he calmed down. I got new sheets on the damp-ish bed, and he went back to sleep with an empty bladder. Everything is good.
It was just one of those "you know you're a mom if..." moments. *sigh*
He woke up this morning and asked if I remembered him "sprinkling" me last night. Ha!