Waterworks.

Last night Ian was crying in bed around 10:30.  He was in one of those night-terror trances, where he was talking gibberish with his eyes open, screaming crying about something unknown.  I hate those nights.

So I finally got him to wake up enough to tell me that his 'owies' hurt (from the sidewalk spill he took yesterday) and also that he was 'itchy'- um, on his parts.  I mean, it's hot here since we are too cheap to turn on the AC just yet, so maybe it is a heat thing.  I went to get the Desitin.

**GRAPHIC CONTENT ALERT (Ian is going to be so embarrassed someday when he is 14 and reading this)**

I come back into the room, Ian is laying down, still crying, still itching.  So I pull his little undies down and begin to apply said cream.  

And that is when he started to pee.  All over me.  A neverending stream.  Think Austin Powers.  After I finally ducked, it went all over his carpet, onto every item of linen on the bed.  And all I could do was cup my hands over it like a deflector shield, which, of course, turned it from a stream across the room into a geyser that puddled around him, which made him cry even louder and harder.  I have no idea what he drank before bed that evening, but it certainly was a lot.  

Then, I realize that we have not yet put a waterproof mattress pad on the new bed that he is on, so when he *finally* finishes, I made him get off the bed so I could rip the sheets off and mop up the mess before it could sink into all the layers of the mattress.  I felt so bad- there he is, still crying, wet, and totally freaked out, and I am Martha Stewart, sponging up the mess.

Eventually, I get him into the shower and he calmed down.  I got new sheets on the damp-ish bed, and he went back to sleep with an empty bladder.  Everything is good.

It was just one of those "you know you're a mom if..." moments.  *sigh*

He woke up this morning and asked if I remembered him "sprinkling" me last night.  Ha!