Stretched.

Blech. I've just been feeling tired. used up. stretched too thin. I know I have a million things to do, but really, I just don't feel like doing them. Between all the have to's and need to's, I feel like there isn't enough time for the want to's. And if I do the stuff I want to do (play with the kids), all the other shit just piles up behind me like some crappy monster following me around.

My Have To-Do List:
Laundry (Ian is on his last pair of underwear today)
General picking the crap up around the house
Kitchen (You know when the dishwasher is clean, so plates/pans get all piled up everywhere because there is nowhere to put them?)
Bills (sitting on the counter. Wonder which ones are late?)
Thank you cards from Chase's birthday (yes, it was in April.)
Father's Day card for Bryan's Dad...still sitting here on the counter...
Call Geico and get the new van on the insurance
Go to the Aquatic Center and sign Ian up for the next swim lessons
Therapies all over the place (+ Chase's PT eval on Monday)
Dr appts (ENT today at 2 for Chase's follow up, eye dr on Monday for Chase-- notice a pattern?)
Watching Logan today for 12 hours...(he was here at 6am- ack. early.)
Grocery shopping (out of all juice right now, getting close to being out of milk)

My Should Do's:
Dr appts for me. I've been putting things off for a long time. I need to see the optomitrist (tired of wearing my glasses and I've been out of contacts for like 3 months). I also was due for my annual at the OB/GYN last September (oops. and sorry, TMI. but this is my blog and you can stop reading if you want.) And it's been like 4 years since I went to the dermatologist, who I'm supposed to see every 6 months because of my fair and cancer-prone complexion, so I probably have some sort of cancer now. And speaking of every 6 months, I still haven't been to the dentist since I fired the last one.

My Want To's:
Actually, these are not so much want to do things, since it's all about playing with my kids. Well, and exercising for me. But what the hell? If I stay at home, I should be able to play with my kids all day long, right? I feel like I'm always trading something, promising something, if I do this, then we can do that. If you eat breakfast, then we'll play puzzles. If I get the toilets scrubbed, then we'll go outside. Well, f*ck! If I keep waiting til everything else happens, then we'll never do anything fun!

I don't know what I'm going to do about this. If I was a good person, I would write everything down on something with a dry erase marker, or make a chart or a big long list to stick on my front door. Maybe I would stop freaking blogging about it and actually get up and accomplish something. But I won't. I'll sit here with my coffee and wait for the PT to knock on my door. Then after therapy maybe I'll get in a shower. Then I'll get all the kids fed/cleaned/changed/napped. Then I'll futz around the house with Ian while the little guys sleep. Then we'll go to the ENT. Maybe the store because I don't want to hear the whining about juice again tomorrow morning. Then we'll come home and not do anything until dinner time. Then I will have a glass of wine and feel crappy about all the stuff I haven't done and go to bed.

This turned into a really uplifting post, didn't it? Damn.

How does everyone else do it?