Lessons Learned

1- Do not get sunblock on your one-year-old's hands if he is prone to rubbing his eyes because then he will get tired at the waterpark and shmear it into his eyeballs and then he won't be able to open his eyes and they will be red and puffy and he will be miserable and you will have to pack up all your sh*t that you just dragged into the waterpark along with the two children that you just wrangled into swimsuits all for 45 minutes of *fun* and take everyone home.

2- Do not let your 3 year old jump on the couch because as harmless as it may seem and even though it is a good activity to get the ants out of his pants he will still clock the back of his head on the sharp-cornered table next to the arm and while you are comforting him you will realize that he is bleeding out the back of his head all over your cheek and you will freak out because through his blonde hair it looks like a LOT of blood and you will call your neighbor who is a pediatric nurse to come and look at him and make sure he doesn't need stitches or have a concussion and even though everything is fine you will still need to feed your kid 2 suckers just to stop the tears.