Monday, May 9, 2011

To My Brother on his Wedding Day

I don't always take the time to give sisterly advice.  My relationship with my little brother often centered around hurling insults at each other and finding ways to achieve maximum annoyance levels.

Luckily, we both have grown up and live far away from each other.

Really, though, my brother Scott has inexplicably turned into quite the amazing man, and in turn, has found quite the awesome bride.  Today they got married on the beach, in possibly the most honest, perfect wedding I've ever seen (and my opinion may or may not have been influenced by the key lime cheesecake at the reception).

By no means am I any expert on marriage, but I feel the need to dispense some advice...mostly because Bryan and I have ten years on them, we've made some mistakes to learn from, and I play the part of the know-it-all-big-sister well.

So, hear's to you, Scott and Rachel:  marriage advice, Maddex-style:

1.  Appreciate the quirks.  When you stop seeing them as cute, they turn into annoying, and that, my friend, is bad.
2.  Take time to understand your spouse's ways of coping.  I'm a gabber, he is not.  When he doesn't gab to me about his problems, it's not because he doesn't care.  It's because it doesn't make him feel better.
3.  Little things matter.  Leave notes in each other's suitcases when they leave on a trip.  Pick up an extra Kit Kat bar at the grocery store to share at home.  Stock the fridge with his favorite beer.
4.  Call each other on your lunch breaks.
5.  Back each other up in all situations.
6.  Control the in-laws on your respective sides.
7.  Never take your spouse for granted.  Look really really hard to find the amazing in the every day.
8.  Practice true forgiveness.
9.  Go to a marriage seminar, read a book on a strong marriage before you have to fix it.
10.  Take the time to enjoy each other...don't get too involved in the seriousness.

Bonus #11:  Learn how to manage your money early.

Love you, Scott and Rachel.  Love to my parents, too, who provided me with awesome role models.

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